Holy Cow. I often "joke" that it is not worth leaving town, because it is just too hard to catch up back at the office. After just two days away I came back to the worst few days I’ve had at the office in quite some time. Some of it was backlog from my trip away, and some of it was just wacky bad stuff all happening at the same time. If someone hadn’t brought me donuts I really think I would have just walked out the door. I’m so looking forward to having a new full time partner in January, but it feels like a long, long time from now.

I’m not pushing my luck though. The doctor who will be joining my practice had been looking for a position in our program for several months, and was surprised by the job offer he received only a week after my discussion with the director. "Just what the heck did you say in that meeting" he asked me a few days ago. The honest truth is, I said if things didn’t change at my office I’d quit, and I meant it. A week later I had a new partner and a bonus, which was very gratifying but I’m pretty sure that little trick only works about every five years. I can survive until January. I can. Probably.

One of the unexpected joys of motherhood is sharing food. I love to share what I’m eating with Josie and watch her little face light up when she tries something for the first time. I often have to sneak her things behind Tim’s back, because he is oddly hung up on this baby food thing. If I had a dollar for every time that man said "Don’t feed the baby (chili, Brie, hoagie, whatever….)" we’d be rich. (Incidentally, I am sure this comes from my over-confidence in the baby resuscitation realm. I do watch her very carefully whenever I feed her. Not too long ago, she actually choked on a chili bean. For a surreal am-I-a-doctor-or-mother-in-this-situation moment I watched her turn bright red and then visibly struggle to breathe. I slowly counted to ten, telling myself that if she did not start to spontaneously cough by the time I was done that I would put her over my knee and begin back blows. I felt no panic, just an almost clinical calm. Luckily, she started to cough by the time I reached nine, at which point the mom in me took back over and I started hugging and comforting her. Thank goodness Tim was out of the room during this episode. I’m pretty sure he would have divorced me over the whole thing.) Anyway, Tim is at band practice tonight so Josie and I shared a plate of spaghetti. We were both chowing down when I noticed she had shoved what looked like one too many noodles into her mouth. I reached out and pulled on what turned out to be a perfectly intact noodle. It kept coming and coming, like a magician’s scarf. The spaghetti had likely made it all the way to her stomach before I yanked it it back out. It was the most disgusting and oddly satisfying experience of my day, the baby care equivalent of peeling of a scab.

Come to think of it, I find much of parenthood to be disgusting and satisfying at the same time.