words for snow
Tastes Like Lime Jello - Feels Like LoveI had a very bad day yesterday. Some days I don’t want to do this anymore. For the first time I understand why people become surgeons or ER doctors. For me, the rewards of medicine are in the connections made with families. But, I don’t want to be connected anymore. I don’t want to know the wife and children of a patient who dies too young. I don’t want to know who he went to school with, or his work friends or his neighbors or his parents.
It’s too much, too hard and too sad.
I'm sorry that you feel so bad. The fact that you care is what makes you a good doctor. But, caring is also what makes us good human beings. It'd be scary if you didn't care so much. Those that work as physical caretakers must be overwhelmed by compassion fatigue, at times. There's nothing that can make it all better, just distance and time (and ice cream! Really good ice cream!) Just remember that you are one of the good guys and other people's lives are the better for you being around. Hugs!
Posted by GlizzerSuzie, I read you often but rarely comment. Just wanted to reach out through cyberspace and offer you a [virtual] hug.
I hope that you will find a measure in comfort in knowing that your capacity for empathy MUST be a HUGE dose of healing and comfort for your patients and their families. My mother (z"l) passed away 13 years ago (young -- way too young) from ovarian cancer. There are no words to describe the comfort and healing that her doctors provided me, my husband, father and brother -- both during her care, and by coming to her memorial service.
Those doctors, by allowing us to see their pain, gave us the priceless gift of peace: peace of mind that Mom had chosen well her course of treatments, and that the people who treated her truly cared for her as a whole person, not just as the illness that brought her to them.
I am truly sorry that the connectivity you describe invites an inevitable vulnerability for you. I wish that you, and other doctors like you, did not have to suffer these emotional experiences in order to bring us comfort. But, at the same time, I am profoundly grateful that despite the obvious, you all continue to care and to give of yourselves.
I hope that life will return to you the same peace that you obviously offer your patients and their families.
Posted by zahava (mrs. treppenwitz)*hug*
Posted by KathyI'm sorry you had such a rough day, Suzie. It's hard enough that your job leaves you physically drained all the time, but when your emotional reserves get tapped out, it must be incredibly painful to deal with in your line of work. At the same time (and I know you know this because you said it yourself), "the rewards of medicine are in the connections made with families." The kind of compassion you possess is what makes you a very special person and physician. It's painful to care, but without it, what do you have? I hope that you are able to take some time to recharge your batteries with Josie and Tim -- and isn't that new doc starting soon? -- so that you can keep doing what you do so well. Just know that, for every hug or thank-you note from a patient or family member, there are so many more who appreciate you and just don't always stop to tell you.
Posted by shelley ju*loves*
Posted by JoelleOh, it's already all been said, but they are all correct: it's exactly your capacity to cherish your patients--which is the part that takes you from a good doc to a great one--that is breaking your heart now.
When you stop caring like that it will probably be time to leave the profession and find a job using an adding machine.
Posted by jadedjuOkay, to quote a fabulous medical tv show, "It will burn you out." Said to a doctor who is way too compassionate by an Oncologist who was watched many doctors in his field come and go back they didn't pace themselves or gave too much and lost the desire in the end to experience the deaths with the family.
I'm not saying this is what you should do, but I'm just saying it because, weeks after watching that show, that one bit of dialogue stuck with me. It can be applied to any job, really. When you love what you do, when you are great at it, and you feel like a gorilla when you do your best and thinks rock on spectacularly, you tend to dive in further, right? Those are the moments when you should hold back, enjoy the moment and pace yourself so that there is more of you to go around for a lot longer.
I tried this at work when I started this job three years ago. I say no more, I turn down shifts and I ended up being happier here than anywhere else. I control the rollercoaster.
I hope that makes a bit of sense to you. *hug*
Posted by LillyI'm so sorry you had a bad day. Your capacity for empathy for your patients - and their families - is why you need to be a doctor - there aren't enough like you. Stay the course.
Posted by maggieHugs, and more hugs!
Posted by TraceI know it's hard but remember, you are a wonderful doctor who is very caring and that's hard to find these days. Please stick with it. The world needs more like you.
Posted by girlpleaseyou're a great doctor because you care. i hope you continue to care without it taking such a large toll on you. *hugs*
Posted by becky
